Brookhaven Courier

Issue date: 2/19/07 Section: Opinion

For as long as I have known, I have always been scared of the simplest things. My parents said as a child I was scared of a brown teddy bear because it had the shiniest eyes and somehow I could see myself in them. According to them I would say "take it away it wants to eat me." All I can remember of the incident is that it did look like a real animal and it was scary.

Growing up in London I remember always being scared of something. If it wasn't the ice on the streets, then it was the latest person whose name was in the headlines for committing some grave act against humanity. In my head this person wanted to make me his latest victim and it didn't matter if the crime had taken place 500 miles away or if he was currently in jail - I was still scared.

I didn't like to sleep in the dark because I was convinced I could see ghostly images of people. I remember not wanting to lift up my head because I could sense their presence at the foot of the bed. Sometimes when I am in bed now, I can feel and see them.

Of my friends, I was usually the last to attempt anything. Even my younger brother rode a bike and learned how to swim before I did.

I remember someone telling me if one visualizes it they can do it. To me this was an interesting concept, however the images of a bike with an overweight child on it didn't help quench my fears of learning to ride a bike.

At that age I didn't comprehend how a tire could support that much weight - hell, I still don't understand it.

Although it took me a while to do it, I finally learned to ride a bike at 9-years-old.

With swimming I am not sure if it was the concept of being in a confined space that worried me or whether it was the idea of drowning.

I understood drowning in a pool was a rarity, however there was still a possibility, and seriously who cares if it was a one-in-a-billion chance, there was still a chance it would happen and that's what scared me.

Trips to the beach were out of the question, for beaches reminded me of sharks and sharks reminded me of the movie "Jaws." I still remember watching that movie from my prime- seating location behind the sofa.

This fear of everything followed me into my adult life. Although I have traveled to four continents and have sat on an airplane countless times, people are still surprised to hear that I have this fear of flying.

I know the odds of dying in an airplane are extremely rare but still the thought of being tens of thousands of feet above ground does not sit well with me.

Continued...

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